Well of Illusions!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

its been a tiring week. gym, study, gym study. argh super tired. miss a remedial on sat and now i got banned by the chemistry teacher. what should i do? lots of homework to do and you know im so lazy. but most of the time i can overcome my laziness but this time it is irresistable. laziness plus unstable mood condition makes me feel like sleep and sleep. escaping from reality. i hate to face the world now. i feel so little confidence in me. whatever i do i had a bad feeling that i would be a failure. i feel that im not the person i used to be. now i just feel like sitting alone, starring into space and let the time fly pass me. everything seems so meaningless to me. nothing seems to energise me. emolation had taken place? maybe or maybe not. i totally have no idea. ahhhhh. maybe this is part of life? trying to climb up on what i had fell down. pulling myself up is the most important. hmm. dont care about me. im a failure. total failure. no idea why i feel this way too. alright im tired. im super tired. tired of everything. take care peeps.

ending everything makes me feel better. maybe i should

+KenDriK+ updated @ 8:05 AM

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Friday, July 27, 2007

things dont look the way it should be. it just stop in a middle of our journey. its tiring because being alone to finish the whol ong journey; no one to talk with; no one to joke with; no one to support each other with. i guess i should put down everything and start afresh? i've tried and tried to my very best. it just stuck within me as if it will be there forever. cant help myself thinking of you. remember the days when we set out together with faith. now im still alone walking through the journey. i dont know where is the ending. it seems like everlasting. you were right. giving up earlier is always than giving up later. the pain still will be there but not as much pain than giving up later. concentrate on studies is your way of forgetting it. but my way of forgetting things ain't studying. i went to gym and try to numb myself. i just want the pain to forget it. its tiring. damn tiring. i hate to go on. seriously. but i still have to go on. i've ever once of jumping down from my room and end everything. nah, its foolish. only a dumbass would do that. remembering the past hurts.

alright i go have some rest. my muscle is aching terribly. take care

always think about you holding my hands. its wonderful.

+KenDriK+ updated @ 8:50 PM

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

i couldn't sleep well last night. there were so much to think about at that moment. all just gush out from my mind. but it was happy memories. alright guys, lets listen to the potential break up song. im fine will always. *i hope* you weren't a sinner or even a fcuking retard. you are just perfectly fine because i know you were true to me all these while. you will always be in my heart no matter what because i know you love me lots and showering true love all over me. im glad that you able to give me many good memories to think of. i know sometimes im a bit demanding but i hope you understand:) if you were bad, im not good either. right? we are the same. we dont catogorise ourselves between good or bad because our heart were united as one. love is something about putting in each person's shoes. i've always put myself in your shoes before making any fuss about some things. i know now we are back to friends but you'll always stay in my heart. i love the true-ness in you. thats what i love you about. alright although sometimes when i recall back while im sitting with an empty bus sit beside me, i will feel a pain in my heart. i really hope at that moment, you were sitting beside me talking to me. it will be satisfied for me. i guess its finally time for me to rest because im on the verge of breaking down. i'll try to sleep now. take care and theres a place in my heart which is meant for you. always. *bless*

love piggy.

+KenDriK+ updated @ 8:53 AM

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

it is 21st of july 11:52pm. today is my sadest day of my whole life.. as im typing, i cant help it but tears just fill up my fucking eyes and rolling down my fucking chubby cheeks. when a relationship starts, get prepare for the worst because there is nothing call "forever". now i experience that and im feeling so so devasated. am i asking for too much or am im mr.not-gentlemen? im utterly confused. do i have a place in her heart? my heart says have but my brain denied it. which side should i believe? tell me! guide me! advice me! someone help? or even angels may fall and give me a helping hand? im having a mania-storming heartache. im bleeding. bleeding profusely. oh its a shame that a guy is shedding tears am i right? totally fucked up. im such a failure. UTTER FAILURE! what can i do to change the situation? no, there is none. there are no options for me to choose.. dead end. today onwards. i,myself,me will be dead after i finish my last word.

LOVE. 12:11pm

+KenDriK+ updated @ 8:51 AM

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

its hard to be a human
its even harder to be a mr.perfect
because nothing in this word is perfect.
i'll never be perfect. NEVER!

+KenDriK+ updated @ 4:19 AM

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

darling.. this is for you! stay cheerful like you always do. dont worry and be happy! im always here. im your sugar. i want to listen to your sorrow. lets share your sorrow together honey. i willing to sacrifice for you if you ask me to. nothing is impossible. confide in me honey. just me. lets share the pain together. its been almost 48hours since i heard from you. i really misses you. please reply me. im very worried. love you darling!

+KenDriK+ updated @ 5:44 AM

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

hey there my piggy, what's it like in New York City. I'm a thousand miles away. But girl tonight you look so pretty. Yes you do. Time Square cant shine as bright as you. I swear it's true.

Don't you worry about the distance. I'm right there if you get lonely. Give this words another listen. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice it's my disguise. I'm by your side.

I know times are getting hard. But just believe me honey, we will always be happy forever. We'll have the life we knew we would. My word is good.

A thousand miles seems pretty far. But they've got planes and trains and cars. I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know, that none of them have felt this way.Dearest I can promise you that by the time we get through. The world will never ever be the same.

i love you baby! always in my heart!

+KenDriK+ updated @ 6:40 AM

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hey there PEEEPS! whee sorry for the adsent of my entries. kinda busy all these while. ohhh its all about the same. LETS talk about life, shall we? hahaha same old answer, STRESS! exams exams and exams. my brain only contains this word, "EXAMS!" awwwww hate to be stress. lol.

It's all about you. It's all about you baby. you'd make my life worthwhile.
I would answer all your wishes, if you ask me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what i'd do.
So hold me close and say three words which i would like to hear from your love.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles with you, which i wish it would happen.
It will be romantic for just only me and you.
Telling you with a smile, ITS ABOUT YOU!

From me to piggy^^

hope this will let you understand how my heart feels deep inside about you. its really you that sparks me up. you had became part of my life; my soul.

+KenDriK+ updated @ 5:44 AM

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

oh yea tmr im having my SUPER-TEENS WORKSHOP! (mon-fri)WHEEE~=D hope its a de stressing programme for me. i dont want go and study again. really sick to me. >< alright signing off. god bless.

+KenDriK+ updated @ 3:14 AM

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life isn't that good. gosh! i screwed my olvls chinese! man HELL DEAD! the reading part is alright but the conversation part is "OMG!". i dont even know what to speak/say. ask about green revolution?! somemore its in chinese/ dont even understand what the teacher is talking about. i dont know how to say "natural resources" in chinese, i spoke it in english. DEAD! im feeling the stress of olvl now. i cant take it. hais. feeling so devasated now after my chinese oral. i dont feel like carrying on. =( life sucks. really admire those ppl who got good grades for their olvls. hais. alright bye.

+KenDriK+ updated @ 3:08 AM

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Sunday, July 1, 2007

oh yea! today was a great day man. WE WENT TO WATCH TRANSFORMER! IT WAS AWESOME! THAT MOVIE JUST SIMPLY ROCKS! GO CATCH IT! but there was something pissing off too. example like the sushi. me classmates(about 13,including me) went to line up for the sushi buffet around 630. then guess what? when its our turn for our table, the manager say"so sorry! we dont have a table for 13." oh my gosh! and we said"seperate into different tables?"the manager said"sorry,also no space"we were like so hungry! we skipped our breakfast and lunch just to chiong at the buffet and this happens. never mind. and what? when we go off, there were 6/8 ppl behind us and the manager invited them in. omg! didn't we say we dont mind seperating tables? the manager is a stupid dumbdumb. anyway, we went to soul garden and have our so called "meal-of-the-day"we eat like some hungry ghost. lmao. one of my friend took 1 whole big plate of fried mee and spaghetti. omgg! as if is like feeding a pig in the farm? hahaha. and its obvious, i cant finish it all. then we went to HQ and have some dota match. awww so thrilling and exciting. we do laugh around. hahaha. anyway great day! everyone were so tired after a long and tiring day. awww im tired. alright im turning in now! TAKE CARE

PIGGY! LOL STAY HAPPY YEA! (^(o.o)^)<3

+KenDriK+ updated @ 11:07 AM

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